I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
