did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
