Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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