Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
