seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize