my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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