i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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