tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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