the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Is it penis luge time yet?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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