I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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