Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
