As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
