Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
