im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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