WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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