he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
