You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize