sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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