i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
