how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
These tits shall not be calmed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
