If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize