She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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