That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
