The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
