Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
