I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
