Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
