the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
