i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
