Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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