just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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