You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize