You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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