You're a womanizer and a bitch.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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