so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
