i permit you to call me
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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