we have officially lost it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
