Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
