You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
