kristin has been a bad kristin
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
