All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
