Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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