fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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