whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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