It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I supernannyed him into submission
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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