My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
