you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
