I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize