Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize