She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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