i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
