I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize