A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
