ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
