I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just invented taco cereal.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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