How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize