i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
