I want to stick my p in your. b.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
