It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
